How To Stop Lying To Yourself

When was the last time you told yourself you were going to do something, but after you tried it once, you gave up, never to do it again?

Or maybe you never even started doing it in the first place.

Maybe you said you were going to start going to the gym,

Start running more,

Or starting a business.

The issue with this is doing those things comes with so much weight attached.

You probably go into something like going to the gym with the intention of going every other day.

You’re going into a whole new habit from zero to one hundred.

From doing absolutely nothing to going all out.

It’s never going to stick.

And you’ll be back at square one in no time.

You need to start small and slowly build yourself into the person you want to be.

You can’t finish building a skyscraper in one day.

You need to build the foundations, and slowly build it up day by day.

The book ‘The Compound Effect’ by Darren Hardy explains this theory incredibly well.

He states that there was a woman named Beverly whom Darren had employed, who was telling him that her friend was doing a half-marathon that weekend and was sure that she could never do that.

Darren (knowing about the effect of small changes) decided to help her accomplish her goal of completing a half-marathon.

Darren first told her to drive her car around the block and map out a 1-mile loop from her house.

He then told Beverly to walk that loop three times over a period of two weeks which required no major stretch or pain.

Once completed, he then told her to walk that loop three times in one week for an additional two weeks which she still decided to continue.

Next, Darren told her to start a slow jog, only as far as she felt comfortable to which she would stop as soon as she felt breathless and continue walking.

He asked Beverly to do this until she could run one-fourth, then one-half, and then three-quarters of that mile.

And after three more weeks (nine outings), Beverly could successfully run the full loop.

Darren then asked her to increase her distance by an eighth of a mile each outing (an unnoticeable distance which was only around 300 steps further).

Within six months Beverly was running nine miles with no discomfort at all, and in nine months she was running the half-marathon of 13.5 miles regularly.

Whatever it is you aspire to do, start with something small and frictionless, make sure to stay consistent and watch it compound into incredible results.

Make it EASY for you to show up.

I love this example that really portrays the benefits of small, consistent changes:

Meet Jim and John. Two ordinary guys, who live ordinary lives. Both are in good physical shape, work in relatively well-paid office jobs, and have loving relationships with their wives.

Jim starts making small, seemingly insignificant changes to his daily routine. He starts running 10 minutes a day and walks 4,000 steps to work whilst listening to an Italian language learning podcast. He reads 20 minutes of a non-fiction book before bed, spends 15 minutes at dinner about his wife’s day, and eats an extra piece of fruit and a serving of vegetables per day. These changes weren’t massive and were easily added to Jim’s daily routine.

Like Jim, John starts making small and seemingly insignificant changes to his daily routine. He starts drinking three more beers a week, eats an extra fast food meal per week, begins taking the car to work instead of walking the 4,000 steps, starts using social media for 20 minutes a day, and stops making an effort with his wife.

After three months, there is no major change neither in John nor in Jim’s life. It’s the same story at six months. At nine months, however, there are now large measurable results. And at twelve months, both are living completely different lives.

John is heavily overweight, has a drinking problem, his relationship with his wife has broken down, he has been given a warning at work for lagging behind his colleagues and he is now addicted to social media. John isn’t happy with his life.

Jim on the other hand is physically fit and can run for a couple of hours without stopping. He and his wife have never been closer, he has been promoted at work due to learning many skills from reading books and listening to podcasts, and he can now speak and understand decent Italian.

Both started in the same conditions, but both ended up with completely different lives. What happened? At first, it didn’t seem like either Jim or John were venturing down different paths. It took nine months for the results of their daily habits to show themselves.

All of a sudden, after nine to twelve months of consistent daily action, their lives started to change drastically. This is the major effect that consistent small tasks can have on your life.

Whatever it is you set out to do, make it EASY for you to show up.

You need to make it have as little resistance as possible.

Get your gym clothes and water bottle ready the night before.

Untie your laces and have your shoes set out next to the front door.

Make it FRICTIONLESS to show up every day.

Small, consistent changes manifest into life-changing results.

Stay consistent.

Oli.